I observed. What happened was probably just an accident. He doesn't seem interested. Worse still I feel that he is kinda annoyed with me. hmm.. Dono.. Just wanna go back being normal, talk normal act normal.. then will be fine i guess..

Tomorrow presentation.. very kinteo..

Have u ever say YAY!! single is good and then some bloody guy come barging into your heart the next minute? If it's some random person it won't be a problem, cause you were never friends to begin with and u don't lose much if things go bad or if they don't like u back cz after he broke ur heart things go back to where they are when u don't know him (nt completely tho). But what if, the person is an important friend? What if he don't feel the same? What if things went bad between you? You'll lose not only the person u love, but also a very good friend. How can anyone bear with such lost. I thought for sometime before putting this in. I find myself getting really ridiculous. Once I say something, life just have to prove me wrong.

I've talked to wying wying about it earlier.. cz only her will find it not funny and understands.. she told me to wait n see.. let time prove it.. N that it needs the right person, right time, and right place to make it work.

I talked about it with Wei Yong too today.. and he told me his stuff.. it's been so long since we have so much to talk about.. I'm really glad.. I chose him because he's someone very important too and he doesn't know the person to judge.

I guess I've really fought the feeling long enuf, trying so hard to make it go away. I thought I've passed the test last semester and that the feeling was temporary.. But I was so wrong, so very wrong.. Now, this semester, the feelings came back, even stronger than ever. Stronger than what I've ever felt with other people I've liked in the past.

I guess it served me right. I've been a horrible person. Now it's my turn. I accept it. I have stopped fighting the feelings and accept the fact that i do like him.. He probably notice the changes. I hope no one else did.. Sure it will sound funny to them..

Now I dono what to do.. I assume he still likes her.. N I'm no match.. I'm lost.. Really.. Wish i could read his mind..

Feeling vulnerable sucks! This time is a lot more vulnerable than anything I've ever felt before.. Why? *takes a deep breathe* *sighhhhhhhhhhh*

If I were gone, will you miss me?

If I were Gone, will You miss Me?
This thought often occurs in my mind. I would sometimes wonder how much impact i have in people's life. I know I haven't done much yet to leave more impressions on people but I m curious and wonder if any of my tiny actions meant something to someone. Remember, it does feel good to be needed or appreciated.

So when the time comes, I'd ask certain people that question and if you are one of those whom i asked, please answer me sincerely. So if u feel it's a no. do say so.. and if it's a yes I'd be really thrilled.. =)

Ahhh... time to sleep.. Regretfully, not much progress was done.. I should speed up my pace..

Before, I used to think how nice it would b to have someone to love, to miss, to hug, to kiss, to hold hands with, to have a shoulder to lean on, to have someone to care for and I would do anything to have that.

Now, after my first relationship, my perspective changed. There is definitely nothing bad about being single at all. I guess I'm not really suitable to have a partner. I'm just born on the wrong cancer sign saying that I am. Haha. Well apart from really wanting someone to hug and have a shoulder to lean on at times, i guess most of the time it felt good being single. I feel like I could focus more on my own stuff, i needn't have to worry all the time if I dressed right, spoke right, did right because i'll have tons of other stuff to worry about (cz i worry about every single teeny tiny stuff all the time), n i needn't have to bear the knot in my chest when the other person isn't talking to me, i wouldn't abandon my friends (because when I m in love I only have one focus point), I won't yearn to just see the same face every single day n i needn't be so sensitive about every single comment the person said. I know, not everyone face the same problems as me. I guess i'd overcome those someday. Hopefully..

Hopefully, sometime in a distant future, when my thoughts are more mature, and when i'm confident, beautiful and ready, I'll open up again.. LOL.. if not, mom n dad would be upset by the time me n my bro being 30++ and still not having a partner. You say why include my bro? He'll be 19 in december and he has never mention to anyone commenting a girl looks pretty. He'll only say if someone's ugly or 'i dunno, din notice' when u ask if the girl is pretty.. LOL! Don't get surprised.. I guess in runs in our veins.. We have a lot of singles in the family.. Seriously!

bought this pair of heels for rm164, the black one.. first time eh.. oni my puma is around that price.. mom was so shocked when i told her the price that she gasped, n the saleperson laughed.. LOL!! bt she swiped her card in the end.. =X

gonna try my luck this year end in kl.. the heels i initially wanted



guess it'd cost as much.. size 7.. don go ah.. or 8..

Bing Bing seems very xin fu with his gal.. hehe! so happy~~ luckily din follow heart go kl study just because i wanna meet him n the rest of fruity gang.. XD missed the time i stayed up late in meetoto singing for fruity when bing bing asks and following bing bing, mostly i call mooney, around the place just to listen to his voice.. Don't get me wrong.. he don't really sing well, but i like it when he spoke.. N my fruity family are really a bunch of lovable n crazy bunch of fruits.. Really missed those times when i would sit n front of the pc and chuckled everytime they do o say sth funny.. he usually requested di yi ge qing cheng (lee hom) when i don't have anything to sing.. teehee!

Bing Bing was somewhat memorable in a sense that I've never had feelings for someone i know online even tho it's just a crush and he was a first, n so far is still the only one. Haha！It sounds stupid but really I miss those times.. I remember i'd sleep late because he's be around still according to UK time and would wake up real early to 'see' him to bed because it would be bed time around 7 in UK.. ahahha! I remembered sending msgs to UK just to chat, calling him twice, to wake him up so that he wont be late for his exam (he requested).. I don't mind tho, my credit always accumulate because i hardly spend them. N plus i get to hear his sexy sleepy voice.. LOL!

He's not engdao like all my other crushes, and i do mind at first, bt then did not anymore after that.. He's a sweet guy, to his friends and now his girl friend too.. Ok, so rich guy can do anything u say.. bt haha.. it's the thought that touched me.. I don't have the privilege of cz to deserve such treatment.. ahahha! I remember he sent bao bei (our fruity gang leader) a teddy all the way from UK to Selangor to comfort her because her daddy passed away and she was so very upset. oh, n i think he find a boutique near his gal's house to send her a bunch of roses on valentines day.. XD.. i dono what other stuff he did for her.. bt i guess they are all nice stuff.. I remember him being a protective guy too.. standing up for his friends n loved ones.. Got really pissed when someone crossed his friends..

well, that was all in form 6.. haha!! now i don't meetoto anymore.. and even if i go in, those fruities aren't around like they used to anymore.. beautiful moments don't last.. but only so would one appreciate it i guess..

I wrote this because I just visited his profile.. Remembered those good old times.. =)

CN.BLUE - Tearsdrop in the rain

Tearsdrop in The Rain
C.N.Blue
No one ever sees, no one feels the pain
Teadrops in the rain

I wish upon a star, I wonder where you are
I wish you're coming back to me again
And everything's the same like it used to be

I see the days go by and still I wonder why
I wonder why it has to be this way
Why can't I have you here just like it used to be

I don't know which way to choose
How can I find a way to go on ?
I don't know if I can go on without you oh

Even if my heart's still beating just for you
I really know you are not feeling like I do
And even if the sun is shining over me
How come I still freeze ?
No one ever sees, no one feels the pain
I shed teardrops in the rain

I wish that I could fly, I wonder what you say
I wish you're flying back to me again
Hope everything's the same like it used to be

I don't know which way to choose
How can I find a way to go on
I don't know if I can go on without you, without you

Even if my heart's still beating just for you
I really know you are not feeling like I do
And even if the sun is shining over me
How come I still freeze ?
No one ever sees, no one feels the pain
I shed teardrops in the rain

Oh... I shed teardrops in the rain
Oh... Hey... Teardrops in the rain

Even if my heart's still beating just for you
I really know you are not feeling like I do
And even if the sun is shining over me
How come I still freeze ?
No one ever sees (no one) no one feels the pain (no one)
I shed teardrops in the rain
Teardrops in the rain
Teardrops in the rain
Teardrops in the rain...