Went and visited granny just now.. Came home at 12 something. Poor granny is in pain. Such a dear and sweet person yet have to endure so much pain. What had she done to deserve all these? When she was younger she got married to a terrible person. (I never knew my grandpa but I've heard stories of him. Violent,mad and hot tempered I heard. Granny even told mom he's a monster and that she refused to be buried next to him when she dies. You can imagine how horrible he was. He died long before I was born and I've yet to hear a good thing bout him. Honestly, not much was spoken bout him from any of my relatives or from dad. It's not difficult to know where daddy got that temper from but at least he isn't violent, just irrational at times.) She is fortunate enough to have filial sons and daughters yet unlucky to have to bear so much pain from weak knees and other illnesses when she could have enjoyed all the love and care showered to her by her children now that they are able to pamper her in return. Sigh~
The doctor says there's nothing wrong with her so far. Further test will be done I think. That's why she has to stay in the hospital. Curse that dumb bed. She can't even lean against it. They couldn't understand what's causing her so much pain and discomfort. She did not even sleep a wink last night. Bless her sweet soul that she was able to sleep just now, until my aunts, uncle and daddy returned from the temple. =.= They got her an amulet and wanna.. actually I dunno what they wanna do with it, waking up poor old granny, whom with huge difficulties, finally get to sleep just to do some weird weird procedure some monk or whoever they seek told them to do. Aduh~ Let her sleep ma~ Just place that bloody thing aside or next to her or under her pillow o just head with the prosedure without waking her up la. Fussy women~ Mom and dad say no need wake her up cause she just slept. Haih, Stubborn and supersitious people. =.=" One of my aunt is a Christian some more. I would have preferred them making a silent prayer for her instead~ Hope she was able to go back to sleep. Love you granny~ I know you wanna see more of me and bro but I was just to selfish to go and visit you more often =( But you know I love you just as much as daddy~
Miss those good old times then granny was stronger and used to come over my house where she would sleep with me and tell me stories that happened during the Japanese occupation and how cruel they are in the past, how she had carried her eldest daughter during the war hiding in the forests, or spending time doing crafts with bits of papers or plasticine or even lego. Even now I still couldn't do better than what she did last time. I'm fortunate to have two creative and talented grandmothers. Maybe I got my talent from both of them, especially from this favourite granny of mine~ She used to amaze me and make me smile with that crafty hands of hers. And I used to enjoy making paper birds with her and she would string them up and we hung them up until daddy decided to throw them away. Then during her next visit, we would do it all over again, making use of what there is in the house. I couldn't forget the crocodile she made using the plasticine I played with. So beautiful. I don't think I can make one. It's a pity she couldn't utilise her time doing all these anymore. Now that she has nothing to do because my aunt would do everything for her, she is left there to sit and when there is nothing to do to get her mind occupied all she could focus on is the pain of her joints, bones and other parts of the body. That is what I believe lah~ Because as I observe today when the rest of the fussy ladies were away at the temple, mom and my cousin and occasionally me (because I don't speak much, I prefer to listen) were having a conversation with her while mom rubbed her back. She listen and she responded and she talked and she wasn't focused on her pain anymore. Maybe when my aunts are around they were probably talking about the "Are you feeling better? Does it still hurt?" thing and when all this questions are asked, her mind would directly go back to how her body feels and all the pain just came rushing back again. It's the same as when you are feeling awful and upset and you start crying and then when you feel better, someone who saw you cry earlier came and ask you things like, "What's the matter?", "What happened?", "Why did you cry?", "Are you ok?", you start thinking once again about the reason you cried and got all upset and starts crying louder than before again. Get her mind off topics related to her body pain is a much wiser option in my opinion. But then, I'm no expert. Just voicing my thoughts out.
One of my 'favourite' aunt (my sa go, also the mother of my two favourite cousins) is there, coming all the way from Miri with my uncle. She was one of those people who killed my self-esteem. Just because she has much more smarter son and daughter and is also a lot more richer than my daddy she looks down on me. I remember how she laughed at me just because I made a grammatical error in my speech. I never speak a word of english ever in front of her. Did I mention that her son and daughter study in St Joseph, Miri and speak fluent English since young? ZZZ~~ Some things I forgive and forget yet there are things I just couldn't forget! I wasn't as forgiving as I am now when I was younger. I love both my cousins though. Maybe because one is of the same age whereas the other is only a year older, we were able to enjoy games we play at our age and stuffs. My other cousins are a lot more older than us and I have trouble socializing with my own cousins, what more to say strangers. I barely see them too. =.=" It's a pity that as we grow older, as we start to not play childish games together anymore we grew further apart. They live in Miri but we used to play like we've been playing with each other everyday but as we grew older we would greet each other with hi's and how do you do's and then stopped in awkward silence as they resume their work while we sat quietly watching the television or fidgeting with whatever there is around the place. It's been awhile since I since both of them now. They had been here for short trips but I was either busy or not at home. Hope to see them soon I guess. Hahah! Sigh! I hate growing up!
