Yesterday night, before I smsed him I asked mom, " Does daddy talk a lot when you two were dating? Has daddy ever not talk to you?" She answers, " You think father can not talk? No such thing." Then she asks," What's wrong? He's not talking to you?" I shrugged then say," Sort of.." Then she said," Why didn't you ask? Ask him if there's something wrong. Why are you so lousy? Just ask la!"

Sigh, isn't that a wrong approach? At least that's what I read from books and from the internet. Not to ask "What's wrong?" when there's something on his mind and he's not telling you. Yet, I still need an answer instead of thinking about the 101 possibilities on why he's acting that way. So I stared at my phone finding the best way I could think of to ask this difficult question. Well, I did not get a clearer view of what's going on, but at least I know he needs some time to solve his problem. And I'm going to give him time, room and space for that.

I never intended to ask mom for advice. Actually I just want to know that something like that is normal but I did not get an answer I wanted. Mom is never good at giving advices. Although I talked and had lots of heart-to-hearts with mom, I never ask her for advices on problem solving. Because she never fathoms. No, mom just doesn't understand. She couldn't fathom why I would frown over such things, why I would spend hours making him an xmas present, why I would walk around the mall for one whole afternoon looking a box that it could fit in. In fact, she seems to find it amusing. She asked, " Why are you looking like that?" when I woke up this morning and not having the appetite to eat my favourite instant noodle. "Because he's not talking?" "Just ask him la! What's so difficult? You are really so bad in communicating with people?" Ok Ok! I admit I'm bad in communication. I ignored her, didn't even bother to tell her I smsed him last night, cooked dad's noodle. Actually I know dad's intention of not finishing his noodle. Because I did not cook some for myself or steal a bit of his like I usually did. But that's not the point. Nevermind what the point is because I'm also confused right now.

No one is of much help though I still appreciate them for hearing me out. I did not want to ask advice from too many people either. Getting a lot of people involved isn't a very wise way to get a problem solved especially when the problem doesn't involve just you. Luckily steven nudged me last night on msn, shared with me some of the photos he has taken, claiming that he's a noob for taking noob pictures when some of them are actually quite nice. He always does that. Well, I was thankful though, because I got distracted and got busy telling him he's not a noob and praising some of the pictures he took, even saving some of them, scolded him teasingly that if he says he takes noob pic means he's saying I have noob taste because I said they are good. Haha!

Weird enough. I am having problems I cant solve and people come to me and tell me their problems. It's good enough to get me distracted though. When I was asking him why he isn't talking much and waiting for a reply, Chuk Moi and Yhan smsed me at almost the same time too. Chuk Moi starts complaining about College and wanting to come back to Kuching saying that she already book a ticket back in March, not caring whether they let her come back or not, while Yhan asks me if I knew the real reason why Chuk Moi isn't talking to her. Chat a little bit with them, and also telling Yhan I dunno but can only guess why and that I do not believe the reason why CM is not talking to her is like what XY said. It doesn't seem logic at all for CM to not talk to her just because she broke up with Sheng Han. I think it's more to feeling neglected when Yhan focused half or more of her time with her new bf because Yhan is her only friend there. Something I felt when Wying was with Alvin and spent half of the time used to spend with me with him instead. There's probably a slight tinge of jealousy involved too, because Yhan could easily get along with people while she has trouble doing so. Something people would feel including me when people around you are fitting in easily and you are not doing fine at all. Probably was sulking and not wanting to talk to Yhan due to this in the first place but in the end couldn't find reasons or not knowing how to start talking to her again due to pride. Well, it's just a guess. Only CM knows or mayb she couldn't even find an answer herself. After that both of them went to sleep and then I recieve Bie's last msg of the night telling me he to giv him a lil bit more time. I replied ok and then dragged myself towards my Vippie. Mom is already sleeping on the sofa with her mouth wide open. I really envy her very much because nothing could trouble her from sleep or food. It's very rare that my appetite would get affected but when problems arises, they always affect my sleep. Having a blog does help though. I am able to pour out my feelings, clear a heavy head and heart for a moment or two before retiring to bed. Doing something as well to get myself occupied since I know I can only focus on one thing which is kinda good when it comes to moment like this.